PUT THE CLUB DOWN!

“PUT THE CLUB DOWN”

Most of us have been told at some point of our lives that we weren’t good enough. That we deserved what we get and we should just accept our lot in life and get on with it. Maybe not as bluntly as that, but maybe you were always the last to be picked in the schoolyard for teams, maybe you have been passed on for a promotion several times, or maybe it was even your parents who said, be careful, don’t get hurt, “play it safe”.

Don’t let the world and those that have motives other than to see you succeed, keep you down at their level. I am convinced that one of the biggest reasons so many people stay in the rut they are in, is that there are so many people and influences constantly bombarding us with messages to accept our current position.; to “just take a Prozac” (or other anti depressant) and just accept it. I am equally convinced that the reason so many people do not want us to succeed and live a purposeful life is that we will prove it can be done., and this will show them that THEY are the ones blowing it. Why do you think that anti depressants are the number one prescribed drug in the U.S? If they believe everyone is settling and everyone is depressed, and since they are just like everyone else, this must be normal. They fool themselves into believing that their state of living isn’t their fault, that they are miserable-just like everyone else (aren’t they?) Take a Prozac!!
But once you break through the chains of living an unfulfilled life you show those around you just how empty their lives really are; and that is sobering and uncomfortable. Ever notice when some becomes very successful there is always those that claim that they must have achieved success through cheating or dishonesty. Why, because that gives them an excuse NOT to exceed “Well the only reason so-and-so got that is because she cheated, or married money or blah, blah, blah…
NO!, Its really because she woke up and realized she was sleep walking through life and simply decided, THAT wasn’t going to be the way she lived the rest of her life!

“I am here to tell you that
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH,
YOU WERE BORN FOR
VICTORY –
YOU DO
MATTER!”
You deserve
to live an energized, happy and fulfilled life-
One filled with purpose and
direction!
It’s what you were born for!
Tracy Markum

We all make mistakes; we all have areas in our lives we need to work on. We have all failed in one area or another. We all have weaknesses and all do things that we know we shouldn’t do. But we have to learn to not beat ourselves up over these things. You have to learn to not listen to those accusing voices, be them in your own head, our comments from your people around you. Don’t lay around in self pity and doubt. Put the club of self doubt, guilt and condemnation down and stop beating yourself with it. You deserve to live this life I am speaking of!



I read about an Olympic event where all but two of the female down
hill skiers had been eliminated through the time trials up to this point and
it was just down to these two remaining world class athletes. One would win the Gold Metal and the other would wish she had. The first woman shot out of the gate and headed down the icy slope, leaned into the first set of gates in record time, threw the next set perfectly and headed down the steepest part of the course flying through the air at speeds only racing cars see. She leaned into the last set of gates perfectly then it happened, her ski caught an edge and WHAM she slammed into hard icy snow face first, sliding what seemed like hundreds of feet.
She laid there for a few seconds got up and skied as hard as she could to the finish line. Just knowing that she had completely blown her chances for an Olympic gold. The word made its way up the mountain but the next skier left the gate before she could hear the news. She leaped out of the gates headed into the first set of gates even faster than her opponent, raced down the hill in perfect form, second set of gates no problem, she headed to where the other woman fell and WHAM she hit the ice hard too, so hard it almost knocked her out, but she jumped up as fast as possible, snapped on her skis and headed down the rest of the course. She crossed the finish line and looked back just knowing she had blown in, but there it was, the scoreboard showing her with the fastest time and the Champion! She had actually WON?
What?
How did that happen, she thought there must be some kind of mistake? When they finally told her that her competition had also fallen, she was ecstatic! During the interview with the Silver Medalist they asked her how she felt about her falling and that it cost her the gold medal, she said this “Falling is part of our sport, everyone, at some point falls. How my opponent won today isn’t that I fell, because we both fell, it was the fact that she got up faster than I did, that is why they will place the gold metal around her neck tonight and not mine. Its not that you fall it’s how fast you get up!

It’s not that we make mistakes, mess up, do things we look back and say “what was I thinking": but it is the speed in which we get up, dust the disappointment off and head down the hill that determines our level of achievement.

An NFL coach huddled with his players just before the big game. He said if you
laid a two-by-four on the ground, you could walk across it with no problem.
But, if you put the board between two buildings ten stories high, you
probably wouldn’t make it – because your focus would now be on how to avoid
falling, instead of how to succeed in the walk.

This is just as true in life. If you are so paralyzed by the thought of
making mistakes the result is inaction and fear, and you will never be the
person you were created to be. Not making a decision is making the decision
to not move forward, to stay in the status you are currently in, to settle.
Take the chance to live a life of passion, and purpose. It will be so worth
it!

“Commitment is the turning point in your life
when you seize the moment to
alter your destiny” Denis Waitley

Your going to encounter negative talk and people who will try amazing things to keep you from fulfilling your purpose.
Imagine what I hear from people who discover that my passion and purpose is to help millions of people discover their passion and purpose! Oh how it really gets deep then.
I overhear things like: “Well just who does he think he is?” “I’m not duped by that motivational mumbo jumbo!” “All they want to do is sell you something” I particularly like this one---“well he’s not so perfect- why would anyone listen to him?” Sometimes I wonder that one myself, but here is my philosophy: We are all patients in the same hospital, I have just been admitted a little sooner than you; that’s it! Everyone listening to me right now is on a journey; the question is, do you know were your going and is your journey all that it could be, are you being fulfilled, are you happy?

If I were to give you a baseball and tell you that you had only one throw. And, that the faster you threw the ball the more money you would win. And if you threw it over 80 miles an hour you would win $100 million dollars! Would you take your one chance and just toss the ball easily, taking your chance at the prize money? NO you would wind up, reach waaaay back and practically throw your arm off trying to put as much of you, your momentum, your power behind that ball.

You can change your life in one moment of action.

Well guess what, you only get this one life on earth. One throw to make all you can out of this journey. One attempt to make a difference, one pitch at destiny. You simply have to put everything you are, everything that you’re made of – everything that is within you behind that effort.

You owe it to yourself, you owe it to your children and those who will follow behind you. You see, your not just living for your self. Your actions and decisions do affect those that are on the journey with you. The trail you blaze will make your children’s journey easier as well.

Untill next time...

What Is It Going To Take?

How do you discover you purpose? It isn’t that difficult. It has to do with what excites you, with what you are passionate about. What would make you wake up in the morning with so much drive, so much passion and so much energy you just couldn’t wait to experience all the day has before you?
THAT is your purpose, at least part of it.
What are you passionate about, what really drives you? Your destiny will be a part of the dreams and desires that are in your heart. Your destiny is a part of your very nature, your DNA, this is one of the main reasons that we are so miserable when we are not living according to our destiny, or moving in the direction of fulfilling our purpose.
Your very being is out of balance unless you are “living on purpose!”
Your purpose will involve something you enjoy and are gifted in. You are “hard wired” to live in that purpose.

What would make you wake up in the morning with so much drive, so much passion and so much energy you just couldn’t wait to experience all the day has before you?

For example: If you enjoy the outdoors, your purpose will probably be connected to something that has to do with nature, animals, being a guide, park ranger or the like; if you love and are good with children, your purpose will have something to do with teaching, care taker, pediatric nurse or physician; or if you have a servants heart, and you are caring and compassionate your purpose may include being a nurse, a Doctor a fireman, policeman a social worker or counselor or something where your desires and your strengths can be utilized and fulfilled.
It has been proven over and over again that when you live your life according to your passions, hopes and dreams, and take advantage of your innate strengths that you will exude with energy, enthusiasm and passion.

I remember growing up I always loved to build stuff. I would spend hours building model airplanes, ships, cars, and stick bridges. I would use my toy construction equipment to build play towns and highways. Running my hot wheels into each other and jumping impossible spans of unfinished bridges Now I am a real estate developer, I love to see things under construction. I love to be a part of the transformation from what was - to what is. From a empty field, to a community where people raise their families, play football in the front yard and play in the parks we build. I love to drive the developments weve built and see a father, playing catch in the front yard with his son, or a mother chasing her little girl around one of the many trees that we plant while they both giggle and fall to the ground in laughter; all the while I am reminded, that none of that was even there a few short years ago.
It is no stretch that I love to see lives transformed as well; from mundane to magnificent, from mere existence to excellence, from improbable to purposeful.
(oh and by the way we now finish the real bridges, unlike when I played with my toys.)

I had one particular life coaching client that was a very successful executive,
a COO of a huge company, who during one of our life strategy sessions told me
“Tracy, I want to give you a bit of advice and I would like you to share with
everyone you think you need too”- I said sure what is it? He said tell them
“don’t spend an entire career becoming world class in something you hate, you will be forced to do it the rest of your life”. How sad. He has become so successful and affluent that his money (and his perceived need to maintain that lifestyle) has trapped him in a life he hates! This proves that money simply does not solve all your problems. Infact, my experience with the clinetele I have served with a lot of disposable money is that money only magnifies the pain.
But I am here to tell you that you are not forced to do something you don’t like the remainder of your life, in fact I am begging you to not do that.

Don’t spend 30 years doing something you don’t like. Don’t spend an
entire life, YOUR entire life, like that.

If your not fulfilled it may be because you are not fulfilling your destiny. Are you tapping into that power inside of you screaming and scratching to get out. Operate in a realm where you are passionate.

Why are you here on earth? There is a reason...

What is it going to take

for you to seize this
moment?

What IS LOCKED INSIDE YOU?

Discovering your destiny:
You have been created for a specific destiny. You have been uniquely designed to achieve and exceed in specific areas. These areas you are gifted in and come easy to you.
Then why are so many people so miserable in their lives? Why do they go through life with little happiness or joy, stuck in unfulfilling, mundane jobs, relationships and existence. You can’t really call what they are living even a life, but merely an existence.
Why do people continue, day after day to exist in this state.
It is because they are not pursuing their dreams and desires. They are not living according to their purpose, they are not living in their destiny.
The reason so many people exist with little enthusiasm, or passion is because they are not living pursuing their purpose. If we are not moving forward toward our purpose there will always be tension and stress in your life.
An unfulfilled destiny or purpose is the second greatest tragedy there is.
Living ones entire life, getting to the end and realizing that you have missed your purpose, is unimaginable.

I once heard a story of a man who had lived a good and purposeful life. All throughout his life he was a history buff, especially studying military strategy and the great generals throughout history.
When he went to heaven he noticed St. Peter soon after he entered and just had to ask him one question:
St. Peter, he asked, I know you have seen many
things and you greet every person who comes here, I just have to ask you one question. Sure said St. Peter, Well as you probably know I have studied all the great generals throughout history and just want to know who was the greatest general of all time? St. Peter smiled and walked him over to an area where a group of people were sitting, and he said “do you see that man sitting on the very end, right over there?” "He was destined to be the greatest general of all time. "

The man looked again and said to St. Peter, wait a minute I know that man. He was just an ordinary man, nothing special about him, he wasn’t even in the military!
St. Peter put his hand on the mans shoulder and said: “I know, but he was supposed to be greatest General of all time, but he didn’t pursue his passions and he didn't utilize his God given strengths to excell in his purpose, so we had to use someone else”.

I don’t want that to happen to any of you. And there is absolutely no reason for it to.

What is locked inside of you just waiting to break out into greatness. You know there is something, allow me as your Life Coach help you grow into that greatness. Your worth it!

What is it going to take
for you to seize this moment?

Logical Dreams

I was watching one of my favorite shows on TV (which isn't saying much since I only watch about two hours of TV per week) called "The Human Body-Pushing The Limits" on The Discovery Channel. This program shows how the body reacts to different situations in life, especially extreme situations. It is fascinating, especially to a body builder who has spent the last 15 years tricking my body into building and maintaining a large amount of muscle that it naturally doesn't want to.
On this particular episode they featured the brain and how it reacts during dreaming. One particularly interesting part detailed, that as we sleep the logic center of the brain shuts down but that your brain actually becomes up to four times more active than while awake. Processing all of the information that was stored in the short term holding places in your brain, discarding the irrelevant and placing the relevant issues and events into long term memory. This is no small feat because, according to the program, the brain processes one hundred trillion instruction ever second...yes second. Now, I've already told you that I am a body builder so I even had to spell check trillion just to write this blog.
The amazing point that they made was that the reason that our dreams are many times very non-sensible; is that, with the logic center turned off our brain has the freedom to go places that it wouldn't venture into while awake.
They gave several examples of how people dreamed the answer to very complex questions that, in a waken state they haven't been able to figure out. One example was a NASA scientist attempting to work out how to solve the problem of building a space station for astronauts to live in while not having a place to live in while building it. Even describing the problem is difficult.
How did he solve it, he dreamed it. And when they implemented his dream it worked!
Imagine that, after working on a complex problem for years, the brain solves it in one night, once logic was taken out of the way.
I don't think it is a far stretch to make the point that our "logic" is one of the things that gets in the way of our dreams when we are awake. We all have hopes and dreams for our life, but we allow our "logic center" to shut us down before we have the opportunity to "test" (live) our theories in real life. We talk our selves out of even trying to reach our dreams, telling our selves that "logically" we can't achieve them, so why bother trying.
Yet if you look at many of history's most successful and innovative people, many of them were far from what was called logical at the time. Think Einstein, relativity- whats was so logical about that in the early 1900's. Even modern creative geniuses, are considered "less than logical" at the time of their idea generation; think Bill Gates. Who would think that it would ever be logical, where all the computer and operating systems developed would be at today. Do you think that anything about the Internet is logical? We can't even comprehend the total amount of information on it at any given time because during the time it would take to calculate that number, the amount if information on the internet will double.

So if we learn anything about this it's this. WAKE UP! AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!!
Don't let logic get in the way of you trying to achieve your dreams, success isn't always logical.
Until next time...

How Balanced Is Your Wheel? Part 2

Since you have finished the Life Wheel Balance check now I want to walk you through an area of the life wheel that many life coaches leave out.
Take another look at your wheel of life, but this time don't look at the balance of your wheel but look at the overall size of your wheel. Are most of your responses at the 4, 5 or 6 range? If so then you are living a relatively "small" life.
Take a look at it this way if a 10 is a happy and fulfilled life then what is a four? Sure at this point your wheel may be in balance but what good is a balanced wheel of all fours or fives?
All this means is you are equally miserable in all areas of your life.
You will remember, our life is not a dress rehearsal, nor is it meant to be the size of a small pan. It can be as full and as fulfilling as you're willing to make it. The interesting thing about this, as we will continue to learn, is that pumping up your life doesn't necessarily mean you need to add more to it. More level 5 activities doesn't get you where you want to be.
Let's look at the family, friends and social relationships sector. At this sector averages of five in the score that you gave it what is keeping it from being a seven or eight? Is it simply committing more time to your current relationships? Is it going deeper into relationships that you have? Or, is it the lack of any meaningful and interactive relationships, and you are in desperate need of finding people you can truly share the journey of life with?

Another example. Let's look at the partner, love, relationships area. If this area is a five or below this could mean several things. It could mean a lack of a partner or loving relationships, or it could mean that your love or partner relationships just are not very deep and meaningful. Or it could mean that your love, partner, and relationships are one-sided and you feel that you are pouring more of yourself into your relationships than other people are. In any of these cases it is critical that you take action immediately to either even out the workload of the relationships, or find entirely new and fulfilling love or partner relationships. Either way, your health depends on healthy and vibrant partner, love, relationships that poor as much into your life as you do to others.
So used the life wheel, often to gauge where you are in each of the critical areas of your life and determine those areas that you need to devote additional time and resources to in order to live a more fulfilling, satisfying and loving life.

How Balanced Is Your Wheel? Part 1

Many of us feel as though our life is out of balance at times. The constant tug of career, finances, relationships and other areas of our lives take priority, at certain times, over others such as recreation, family, health and fitness. There are seasons in life where these "should" take precedent over other areas, but only for a short time. Take, for example, the student in law school. Their focus for that time will be on learning, and also work, while their health, and certainly finances and recreation will take a back seat.
This is completely understandable and expected, but again this is only healthy for a season. Far too often the law student who suddenly gets a job at a major firm continues this work habit in these areas of their life never getting back into balance. We see this also in the medical profession and many other intensive educational experiences, where family, friends, social relationships, even spirituality suffer at the expense of a career or a driven mentality.

So where are you compared to your ideal balance of your life?

If you look just to the right of this blog you will see a link labeled "Interactive Wheel of Life"
Click on that link and then push the button in the middle labeled "Draw Your Own Wheel". A pop up survey will appear, so go ahead and rank the ten areas of your life on a scale of 1 - 10; with 10 being that you are completely satisfied and fulfilled with that area of your life.
Once you (honestly) fill in the survey then print out your wheel of life.
Notice the overall shape of your wheel. If it were on a car would you be in trouble? Is your wheel shaped more like an egg? Does one set of responsibilities take a backseat to others?
What are you sacrificing now that enables you to have a higher score on something else?
The flat spots on the wheel are those areas that you need to take time to nurture. Are you sacrificing Family for Career or money? How are you spiritually?

As I stated before there are times that some of these items will naturally be out of balance, but for the most part we must continually check and recheck to make sure one of the areas isn't sneaking up to an unhealthy level of falling out of relevance.

to be continued......

Where Does Time Go?

Wow, how life can hit ya coming and going. This week was a buzz of happenings as I am sure all of you have busy lives and are continually trying to catch up.
So why is that?
Why do some people seem to get more done in their time than others? We hear people say "if I only had more time" but truth is we all have the exact same 24 hours. It must be how we use them.
This isn't going to just be another "efficiency blog" however I want you to think of a couple of points that have helped me tremendously.

One is the 72 hour rule:
We all have multiple tasks going at the same time. One of my former boss' actually had a phrase (SEMP) and beat it into us every chance he got. SEMP is Simultaneous Execution of Multiple Priorities. Now for you brethren triple type A personalities, I just got your attention. We who like to keep as many balls in the air as humanly passable tend to see this as a type of self worth. "Well nobody could take my place, I have way to many complicated items going". However, if you have ever been part of a corporate takeover or company merger, you know very well how fast ANYONE can be replaced.
The problem is that the SEMP time system isn't very efficient, and doesn't work very well for "work" type tasks. The devil is in the transition. It takes me at least five to ten minutes to "get back to where I was" after an interruption or in transition from one task to another, and the length of transition becomes longer the more complicated the tasks become.
Therefore, if you are transitioning or interrupted ten time during a day you could be wasting over an hour and a half per day every day in just switching your focus. And I would bet that the waste of time is much greater than that.
The 72 Hour Rule is where you make a pact with yourself, and other team members if necessary, that for the next 72 hours you are going to focus on ONLY ONE task until that task is either finished or to the point where you want it to be. Many times, simply by the efficiency of not switching focus multiple times a task that would have taken three days, is cut to one or two days of intense focus.
Now you can begin to see real efficiency in your work load.
As I stated before the 72 hour rule works great with work type of processes. Obviously there are portions of your life that you must multi-task; cooking breakfast while dressing four kids, preparing lunch boxes, feeding Fido, combing hair, picking a child off of the highest shelf of the bookcase before he/she jumps on the younger sibling, and so forth.
This is just one of the areas that, as your Life Coach, we can work through. As your Life Coach, I am focused on improving every area of your life, including your work and professional life. Although many people only think of a Life Coach as helping someone through a life transition, like a divorce or career change, my philosophy is that all of life is a transition.
As your Coach my job is not to help just one area of your life but to help you transition into a better, more enriched life.